Little known fact: Greek names are purposefully unpronounceable just to poke fun at Deans during graduation ceremonies at UK universities.
about 2 hours ago from web
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You'd be surprised how few women are interested in my new 7x7 rubik's cube.
about 20 hours ago from web
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I just found a Joe the plumber joke in my notebook but the tag says "expires Nov. 4 2008". Is it too late to use it?
1:58 AM yesterday from web
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Apart from the International Monetary Fund, IMF was also the name of the team in Mission Impossible. I hope that clarifies things.
11:03 PM Nov 16th from web
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Just saw Hulk. The story of a scientist who due to an unfortunate exposure to gamma rays he is tormented by mood swings and terrible CGI.
12:37 PM Nov 16th from web
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I organize my desktop by applying one important principle:
mess is more.
3:19 PM Nov 15th from web
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Oh, and god if you thought for a moment that I believe in you, you are delusional.
10:44 AM Nov 13th from web
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Please god give me strength not to tweet all my jokes together and keep some in my notebook for my days of no inspiration. Amen.
10:34 AM Nov 13th from web
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Is it too early to blame twitter for having accomplished nothing in my life?
8:03 AM Nov 13th from web
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Overall the night was a disaster but at least at the end we managed to clarify the whole "I love Twitter" vs. "to eat her" misunderstanding.
3:12 PM Nov 12th from web
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Sometimes I think that my only contribution to my family is light entertainment.
9:27 AM Nov 12th from web
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What do you mean it's a placebo!?! All this time I've been complaining that your medicine doesn't work for nothing?
7:52 AM Nov 12th from web
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When I’m not on twitter I feel like I’m procrastinating.
6:07 AM Nov 12th from web
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This tweet was brought to you by my inability to come up with something funnier.
3:14 AM Nov 11th from web
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Going to the dentist is like going to the shrink. You lie down and don’t shut your mouth until it’s over. And it’s all about your fillings.
...
6:15 AM Nov 10th from web
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