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Little known fact: Greek names are purposefully unpronounceable just to poke fun at Deans during graduation ceremonies at UK universities.
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You'd be surprised how few women are interested in my new 7x7 rubik's cube.
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Does anyone know how much chef there is in a chef salad?
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I just found a Joe the plumber joke in my notebook but the tag says "expires Nov. 4 2008". Is it too late to use it?
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Apart from the International Monetary Fund, IMF was also the name of the team in Mission Impossible. I hope that clarifies things.
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...the same way I am tormented by bad syntax.
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Just saw Hulk. The story of a scientist who due to an unfortunate exposure to gamma rays he is tormented by mood swings and terrible CGI.
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I organize my desktop by applying one important principle:
mess is more.
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Oh, and god if you thought for a moment that I believe in you, you are delusional.
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Please god give me strength not to tweet all my jokes together and keep some in my notebook for my days of no inspiration. Amen.
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Is it too early to blame twitter for having accomplished nothing in my life?
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@vhata Do I need to say sudo?
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#lazytweet: Make me a sandwich.
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Overall the night was a disaster but at least at the end we managed to clarify the whole "I love Twitter" vs. "to eat her" misunderstanding.
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Sometimes I think that my only contribution to my family is light entertainment.
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What do you mean it's a placebo!?! All this time I've been complaining that your medicine doesn't work for nothing?
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When I’m not on twitter I feel like I’m procrastinating.
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This tweet was brought to you by my inability to come up with something funnier.
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Going to the dentist is like going to the shrink. You lie down and don’t shut your mouth until it’s over. And it’s all about your fillings.
...
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@vhata My voicemail says: "Bearing in mind that I never check my voicemail, please leave a message." Could be discouraging. Haven't checked.
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