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Amber spilled water on her laptop and fried it, so I just bought her a new Macbook. Why didn't I think of that?
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If I had a database of all my friends there would have to be a column called "played_trumpet_in_ska_band".
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@al3x Amber lost hers to that very thing last night. It's gone.
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Googling "flu vaccine beer when".
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Using [redacted]. This shit is bonkers.
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@BRoodman 57 years bad luck.
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If photos of me wearing this ridiculous baby sling were ever released my career would be over.
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Signing my son's birth certificate.
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Thanks to all the friends who worked so hard for this to happen. Not enough space here to list, but I'm proud of you guys.
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@jpdefillippo If it doesn't have the letters "SEO" in it, you're fine.
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Hello, Mark Patrick Torrez…and now back to the poop.
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@matthewbaldwin deleted it. I'm sure we'll be able to call it up on the GoogleTube later.
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@dollarshort not yet. They gave us 10 days and then I don't know what. Ad space still available!
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Sitting on the couch with my son on my lap watching a football game recorded the night he was born.
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@ElPocho Yep, Jacob Miller. Member of the 27 club, unfortunately.
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Don't tell my wife but all my baby name suggestions are reggae stars. Jacob. Robert. Peter. She almost went for Lee.
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Having a tough time coming up with a boy's name. The clock is ticking!
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Finding out the chair I slept in last night turns into a bed.
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@dollarshort we really thought girl. Complete shock when he came out.
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7.8 and ... a boy.
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