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TLHines

"Quantum of Solace," loosely translated, means "I have a thesaurus and I'm not afraid to use it."
Pondering existential questions inspired by Harry Nilsson. Could I put a lime in a coconut? Should I drink them up? Would I get a bellyache?
Thinking "It's time for a change" would make a good Pampers tagline now that presidential campaigns are done using it.
Pretty sure James Garner was the original Maverick.
Hoping tonight's Obama infomercial includes a free Ginsu Knife for all orders placed by midnight tomorrow.
Joe the Plumber has inspired a lot of cracks these last several days. Which is kind of fitting, when you think about it.
Hey, SNL: Let's reprise Fey and Palin. But this time, invite Lisa Loeb as musical guest so we can see in triplicate.
Received latest retirement statement. Feels the 401(k) should henceforth be called the 401(not-ok).
Cannot see Russia from his window, but does have a nice view of a Russian Olive tree.
Knows the world would be a far better place if everyone had a Yodeling Pickle from Archie McPhee: http://is.gd/34pX
Suggested new political characters for "VeggieTales" animators: Broccoli Obama and Sugar McCain.
Has never put lipstick on pigs, but puts barbecue sauce on them quite often.
Wishing A&E's "Intervention" would do an entire episode about people who are hooked on phonics.
Pollsters at my door, asking who I'd vote for. I said I liked CC Sabathia for the Cy Young. Pollsters made extensive notes before leaving.
Missing: Bigfoot costume and chest freezer. Reward if found.
Is age 72, in Chinese Gymnast Years.
Paris Hilton is to political discourse as Lime Jell-O is to Chateaubriand.
Guessing the most-hated restaurant among dyslexics is "Fuddruckers"
In these environmentally-sensitive times, perhaps Tom Bodett and Motel 6 shouldn't leave the light on for you.
Bid $10.5 million for photos of the Brangelina twins. Lost. Plan B: $10 million for rare painting of dogs playing poker.
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