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Rule No. 594: Flame decals do not fool passersby into thinking your car is "hot."
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Rule No. 21: Avoid any restaurant where the daily specials are displayed by way of plastic replicas.
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Rule No. 169: Your barber should always be older than you. Unless you're really, really old.
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Time for some feedback from my followers. How you like "the rules"? How could it be better?
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Rule No. 652: Hot-tubbing is not a hobby.
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Rule No. 783 It's never a good idea to eat an egg-salad sandwich on public transportation.
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Rule No. 802: Something changes in a man when he brings a cowbell to a sporting event. It is not a positive change.
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Rule No. 793: More sleep.
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Rule No. 389: If your dream involves an elaborate scheme to urinate, get up and take a pee.
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Rule No. 924: Despite its domestication, the ferret remains wildly mysterious.
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Rule No. 68 Although a failed business is correctly described as "defunct," it does not follow that a going concern is "funct."
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Rule No. 262: Your bumper sticker is only 3 percent as clever as you think it is.
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Rule No. 223: Do not argue with the caricaturist.
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Rule No. 567: Never invite an activist and a comedian to the same dinner party.
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Rule No. 469: Never introduce yourself in a restroom.
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Rule No. 174: Refusing to eat is a stupid way to protest something, but it has its upside when compared with self-immolation.
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Rule No. 490: No matter how good your numbers are, cholesterol is never something to brag about.
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Rule No. 736: No one's ever gotten laid by wearing pins with funny sayings.
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Rule No. 401: Come to think of it, winter deserves shortened Fridays just as much as summer does.
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Rule No. 32: The longer the limo, the younger the groupies.
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