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the_ubermilf

@ptotheants that entire sentence sounds sexy.
@carrollr I claim Empress. Now bow down and worship me, pig.
@poopsywoo remind me never to eat cookies from those people's houses. Unless they're allergic to eggs. Which makes me sorry for them.
I care, Dilf. I care.
@tits_mcgee I tried to tell you he was annoying, but no one listens.
@poopsywoo If you make cookies with flaxseeds, I can't help you, hippie
@poopsywoo Dilf's former coworker's wife, a teacher, home-schooled their autistic daughter. My sister considered it due to special needs
@NickSeam Don't complain; maybe the stink he's covering up is even worse.
@poopsywoo if you could find a life coach that didn't just spew platitudes, maybe
@CoachieX First I need to Google Antonio Carlos Jobim.
@NickSeam Did you try looking in the mirror?
@NickSeam You are what you eat.
@NickSeam are you sure it's coming? The water taxis stop running at some point
Threat down! Threat down! The oven is fixed. The world is once again safe for cupcake baking. I can feel relief washing over you all.
@behindthecamera I'm very sorry to hear that, NWJR. That's one of the hardest losses there is.
My oven is broken. Thankfully, that's NOT a euphamism.
@tits_mcgee you have no idea.
kids playing Clue, Jr. Maura just asked, "Who wants to be Colonial Mustard?"
when your dog eats yellow Playdo and poops in yellow leaves, it's really hard to find it and throw it away.
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Jeff Busch Taoski FranIam behindthecamera Tits McGee Sarah Jensen more_pepper Nick Seaman B.A. Rosenblum carrollr youareinmysysm hexidecima Sis B mrbillking ptotheants freidabee