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@ptotheants that entire sentence sounds sexy.
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@carrollr I claim Empress. Now bow down and worship me, pig.
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@poopsywoo remind me never to eat cookies from those people's houses. Unless they're allergic to eggs. Which makes me sorry for them.
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I care, Dilf. I care.
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@tits_mcgee I tried to tell you he was annoying, but no one listens.
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@poopsywoo If you make cookies with flaxseeds, I can't help you, hippie
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@poopsywoo Dilf's former coworker's wife, a teacher, home-schooled their autistic daughter. My sister considered it due to special needs
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@NickSeam Don't complain; maybe the stink he's covering up is even worse.
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@poopsywoo if you could find a life coach that didn't just spew platitudes, maybe
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@CoachieX First I need to Google Antonio Carlos Jobim.
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@NickSeam Did you try looking in the mirror?
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@NickSeam You are what you eat.
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@NickSeam are you sure it's coming? The water taxis stop running at some point
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Threat down! Threat down! The oven is fixed. The world is once again safe for cupcake baking. I can feel relief washing over you all.
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@tits_mcgee gross.
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@behindthecamera I'm very sorry to hear that, NWJR. That's one of the hardest losses there is.
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My oven is broken. Thankfully, that's NOT a euphamism.
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@tits_mcgee you have no idea.
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kids playing Clue, Jr. Maura just asked, "Who wants to be Colonial Mustard?"
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when your dog eats yellow Playdo and poops in yellow leaves, it's really hard to find it and throw it away.
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