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johntunger
Mccain can #suspend whatever he likes so long as he doesn't ask me to #suspend my disbelief.
04:46 PM September 24, 2008
from PocketTweets
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AndrewMayer
So it looks the whole debate thing was a ploy to shift the VP debates and give Palin more time... Fail!
04:45 PM September 24, 2008
from web
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iamfivestar
I can never get enough glitter and theory.
11:34 PM September 12, 2008
from txt
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FakeSarahPalin
I just told ABC that we'd go to war with Russia if it invaded Georgia again and they freaked out. UMMM WE HAVE TO PROTECT THE SOUTH STUPIDS
02:25 PM September 11, 2008
from web
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touchthesun
Think of the person you most want to be. If that person isn't you, then you have no business helping others.
06:51 PM September 09, 2008
from txt
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Mollena
My milkshake is bringing a substantial percentage of boys to the yard and their consensus is that it outstrips yours.
02:18 PM September 06, 2008
from web
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LisaStone
Muzak in my organic grocery store makes me want to eat raw meat, kick someone's a**...
10:55 AM August 24, 2008
from mobile web
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babiejenks
anytime someone says the word "tastemaker" without any discernable irony, i immediately know which lunch table they sat at in high scool.
06:06 PM August 21, 2008
from web
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swirlspice
If this Chinese gymnast's floor routine invokes traditional Chinese dance I want an American to do the Roger Rabbit between tumbling passes.
09:18 PM August 12, 2008
from twhirl
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datn
COFFEE! APPLE TURNOVER! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
08:03 AM August 07, 2008
from web
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schmutzie
@sarahdopp There was much crushing on you, my friend. You were a talked about hottie.
12:53 PM July 20, 2008
from web
in reply to sarahdopp
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Booda
When approaching orgasm, do not gaze into your partner's eyes and say "Stand by for transmission" in a robot voice. It kills the mood.
05:54 PM June 22, 2008
from web
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sfslim
By the way, if you use twitter's favorite feature (the little gold star you use to report wiseasses) be sure to register at www.favrd.com
10:42 PM June 10, 2008
from web
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jonesabi
Just caught myself singing along to 'I will always love you' Yes, in the grocer's. Yes, OUT LOUD. Yes, Whitney Houston version.
10:40 PM June 10, 2008
from web
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QueenofSpain
My 3yr old just came upstairs to tell me the babysitter tried to steal her nose. And she did NOT want her nose to be stolen.
03:03 PM June 10, 2008
from web
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sarahdopp
Al Franken's being nominated for U.S. Senate? Yeah, right. And I live in a kingdom governed by a cyborg assassin from the future. Oh wait.
08:59 PM June 09, 2008
from twitterrific
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