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FakeSarahPalin
I DO NOT LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY JOE LIEBERMAN SO STOP ASKING
10:17 AM September 15, 2008
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FakeSarahPalin
Liberals, I changed colleges 5 times in 6yrs BCZ CONSERVATIVES BELIEVE IN SCHOOL CHOICE. I'm so smart HA! http://bit.ly/1p5LdI
09:58 AM September 08, 2008
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evrythingmustgo
Everyone keeps asking if I watched any of the convention this week and I keep telling everyone that I hate anything by Leni Riefenstahl.
11:14 AM September 05, 2008
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meredithrodkey
Arrival of Barack's text at 3:11 a.m. was weird. Like a covert VP booty call.
05:34 AM August 23, 2008
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evrythingmustgo
Freddy Nietzsche said, "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how." Which really just means he never lived in the suburbs.
09:29 AM August 18, 2008
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betheboy
The main things I've learned from Twitter is that I'm the only person who isn't a social media expert, photographer or lion tamer.
10:23 PM August 15, 2008
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evrythingmustgo
My wife hates it when I'm depressed and prefers that I fake that I'm happy like she always does.
07:09 AM August 13, 2008
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evrythingmustgo
Just because I said I wasn't really in the mood to have sex right now, my dogs have been ignoring me.
11:23 AM August 10, 2008
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ghostwheelie
feeling a little typhoidy. probably shouldn't have gone to that make out party...
10:32 PM August 09, 2008
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evrythingmustgo
If my stomach gets any bigger, all the hot chicks I continually fantasize about will not be pleased. And will stop calling me Daddy.
01:56 PM August 07, 2008
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hotdogsladies
Clinton fans tell us they'll protest by supporting McCain. Many also vow to protest gas prices by shitting in their cars. Back to you, Tom.
06:16 PM May 22, 2008
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hotdogsladies
"Say it like you mean it: 'I'm a webcock, and Twitter helped me pretend to like lots of people I don't know.' Say it like it's your sermon."
10:38 PM May 21, 2008
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someecards
Sorry that protests against heinous human rights violations may spoil your enjoyment of competitive badminton.
08:38 AM April 15, 2008
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