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I've seen the Kansas of your sweet little myth.
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@tinycoconut Okay, so maybe it was just a big truck driving by. An invisible, silent big truck. Or brawny elves, come to cobble my shoes.
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That was a cute little bed shaker I felt at 4:40 am. A beginner's earthquake.
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Niman Ranch has perfected the flavorless sausage. Next up: diet bacon.
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Woman interviewed on NPR said Obama scares "the bejesus" out of her. Your turn to threaten to move to Canada, righties!
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Dreamed I blew Charles Bronson to thank him for saving me from bad guys. Where do I hand in my feminist credentials?
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Red bras are for amateurs.
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Making plans for a little boy who had Sprite for breakfast and won't shut up about Pokemon. Those plans involve duct tape.
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If there'd been a drinking game where you took a shot every time Palin said "maverick" I'd have been dead under the couch after 45 minutes.
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What do you want to bet he's going to come out here and ask for more money?
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Gave Jackson $10 for the toy store, I'm in the car with two panting dogs and A/C.
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Sweet mother of Satan, Bad News Hughes is back: http://domesticatedshithead...
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HS friends finding me on Facebook is kind of awesome. Remember all that fun we had when the drinking age was 18? And we were 16?
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Jack's midnight snack last night: olive loaf and swiss with mayo on raisin bread. On top of sushi! Today he gets nothing but wheat grass.
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What's up, morning commuters? Cars flipping this way and that, people signaling left and turning right. And me, I've got toilets to clean.
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(911 for a bicyclist down on the road, not for me.)
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It's reassuring, when you call 911, to have them tell you help is already on the way.
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ANOTHER root canal. People, make sure your children BRUSH THEIR TEETH or they'll grow up and be broke like me.
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@sarahbrown That wedding you're at was announced in the NYTimes this morning! God, you're fancy.
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Why the hell is a PR flack asking me to promote Oprah? Is there an underprivileged part of East Blogistan that only I can reach?
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