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joeschmidt
I *was* planning on reading my children "Feudalism & You" tonight until the stock market decided to rebound.
Back on the shelf you go.
03:21 PM September 30, 2008
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TimRacine
Politeness Tip: Instead of calling someone a slut, just say they have adventurous genitals.
03:28 PM September 25, 2008
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TimRacine
Blind guy with noise cancelling head phones: Bad idea, bro!
06:34 AM September 25, 2008
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tj
'Never Forget' that after planes crashed into buildings on 9/11 and the country looked to W for leadership, he said GO SHOPPING. Now? Debt.
06:11 PM September 24, 2008
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TimRacine
Back from first day of model-school. Professor says with some work my butt could look like Tyra Banks' boobs! I'm gonna be head of the c ...
...
03:09 PM September 24, 2008
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joeavella
bull frogs? that's a funny name. I would have called them Chaz-Wozzles.
11:19 AM September 24, 2008
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TimRacine
How much 'tang would I get if I was a professional ping pong player as opposed to just being a fan of professional ping pong?
06:28 AM September 23, 2008
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joeschmidt
Checked my 401k to see how it was doing. All the fancy bar graphs & pie charts were replaced with the words:
PLAN ON WORKING UNTIL YOU DIE
10:41 PM September 22, 2008
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TimRacine
Fun Fact: If a CVS cashier makes eye contact with you, they will be fired on the spot.
03:21 PM September 22, 2008
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TimRacine
Cop on ATV: "There aren't enough kick-ass jumps in downtown Chicago."
11:21 AM September 22, 2008
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TimRacine
One beer per load of laundry seem appropriate. What I mean to say is: I PLAN to get alcohol poisoning today.
09:11 AM September 21, 2008
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JackiePeters
At shake shack with web 2 tweeps, come on by!
03:00 PM September 17, 2008
from TwitterBerry
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joeschmidt
John McCain invented the wheel, Sarah Palin and fire, though not necessarily in that order.
01:50 PM September 16, 2008
from twhirl
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kadavy
Irony is a cyclist getting doored by a ZipCar.
10:59 AM September 15, 2008
from txt
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kadavy
Tweet like nobody's reading - because Twitter is probably down anyway.
08:45 PM September 14, 2008
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kadavy
Everything you know is complete, and total, and utter bullshit. K, now please Digg. Thx.
08:30 PM September 14, 2008
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kadavy
Your subconscious loses three creativity points every time you say "parking is a NIGHTMARE!"
08:46 AM September 04, 2008
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kadavy
Macbook Pro fan stopped making noise after three days. The cussing and hitting worked.
05:23 PM August 28, 2008
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kadavy
Recognizing the seemingly important shit that doesn't actually need to get done is just as critical as the mundane shit that does.
10:21 AM August 28, 2008
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serafaery
Sometimes my heart suddenly catches fire for the beauty of life. (Classified in the DSM IV as a "hypomanic" state of Bipolar II disorder.)
11:17 AM February 26, 2008
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