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antichrista
According to a 6-yr-old at an aviary show, vultures eat "snacks." Obviously, the kid has a lot to learn about politics.
34 minutes ago
from twitterrific
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printartist
I think I'm about to be verrrry crafty. Bring on the knitting?
41 minutes ago
from web
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Hello_Nurse
The woman in front of us in line at Sams tonight bought 5 boxes of laxatives and Bayer Aspirin. My mind is filled with far to many questions
about 1 hour ago
from web
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Darth_Drafter
Ignorance is bliss. That's why retards are always so f&*king happy. Why can't I be a tard?
about 1 hour ago
from web
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vmarinelli
Teenager is such an odd mixture of surly and sweet: "Give me a goddamned hug."
about 1 hour ago
from TwitterBerry
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AuntMarvel
@InsoOutso Coincidentally, I *am* located between the moon and New York City, so there's that.
about 1 hour ago
from Hahlo
in reply to InsoOutso
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viciousbleu
@KatyDidSays Just say: "Here, let me give you my PERSONAL cell number. I only have my work phone with me right now." Then just flee!
about 1 hour ago
from web
in reply to KatyDidSays
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whateverdude
i wish girls liked my appearance as much as gay guys
about 1 hour ago
from twhirl
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clapifyoulikeme
Spinning...spinning...getting dizzy...I need something...cold and fizzy... #rootbeerfloat
about 2 hours ago
from web
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bsheepies
@weselec There are people NOT looking for fancypants??
about 2 hours ago
from web
in reply to weselec
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hotheadred
@delfie if you get the answer to this, please dm me. I'll pay you. In sexual favors. Or... chocolate. Or you know, pretty much anything.
about 2 hours ago
from Hahlo
in reply to delfie
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nictate
FYI, Hot Stuff-Having the word JUICY embroidered on your ass overrides any and all condescension privileges you may have heretofore enjoyed.
about 2 hours ago
from web
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DieLaughing
BTW, trying to dress like a tough guy in San Francisco makes you a Bear. Look it up. I think I'll go for the creep out factor with mascara.
about 2 hours ago
from web
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jmoriarty
When there is bratwurst, there shall be sauerkraut and unto it all shall be mustard and onions. Thus shall it be Good.
about 3 hours ago
from twhirl
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Joanmarie
Somehow it seems both fitting and proper to wash down my seitanic fajitas, broiled while Dragula coincidentally played, with a bloody Mary.
about 3 hours ago
from web
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Darth_Drafter
Cleaning my daughter's rug outside... so many sparkles went airborn I'm probably gay from breathing it all in.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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katiecake
Boy I Made Out With Last Week to Mutual Friend "I'd like to see her sober" Friend "Good luck!" Boy "No, ME being sober" Friend "Ah."
about 10 hours ago
from txt
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jimreams
According to the website, Oktoberfest in Germantown has beer wenches with epic cleavage. I guess I need to go.
about 13 hours ago
from web
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toldorknown
Looking at what passes for political discourse on the street, I have to ask "Did we really stop putting lead in paint and pipes?" #letscheck
about 14 hours ago
from web
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FakeSarahPalin
Cindy told me John was incontinent, and I was like "Well, DUH, we're BOTH IN AMERICA!" stupids... Then she scowled and I left.
about 15 hours ago
from web
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