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zuhl
This may be a dumb question, but people have checked to make sure this Phelps guy isn't a cyborg, haven't they? I mean, he could be SkyNet.
12:16 AM Aug 15th from twitterrific
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DadGoneMad
AP: LA quake caused by God pounding on his laptop when he discovered that Scrabulous is no longer available on Facebook. Developing...
12:23 PM Jul 29th from web
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magnetbox
Just witnessed a scooter wipeout and 2 red lights ran in a span of 3 blocks. I may have whatever the LOST island has.
6:28 PM Apr 7th from txt
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Moltz
New term for that little yogurt burp-up the container does when you open it: dairy queef. Logging into Urban Dictionary now.
1:02 PM Apr 7th from web
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scottsimpson
Flip Video: for $140 you get a video recorder AND an early-stage Parkinson's detector! I could film the next Bourne movie on this thing.
1:55 PM Apr 6th from web
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lonelysandwich
I can only take so much sexual innuendo on a menu at a burger joint. Yes, I'm looking at you, Weiners 'n Buns Hot Lunch in Your Box.
12:28 PM Mar 27th from web
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Remiel
While I'm at it, fuck whomever put mint in this conference table brownie. It's like I'm eating a brownie & brushing my teeth simultaneously.
10:42 AM Mar 5th from web
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Remiel
MySpace = Jerry Springer. Twitter = Seinfeld. Facebook = Lost. Slashdot = M*A*S*H*. Now you go.
3:44 PM Mar 3rd from web
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Remiel
A misguided prankster laced the office water cooler with a small amount of LSD. Trying to get to HR to complain, but being thwarted by bats.
2:37 PM Feb 28th from web
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Remiel
Often, "There are no stupid questions" means "I fully expect stupid questions from you, but don't worry, I'll pretend you're very astute."
8:49 AM Feb 28th from web
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Remiel
Whenever I feel irrationally optimistic or certain, I remind myself: For some reason Beck is a Scientologist. Brings me right back to earth.
10:22 AM Feb 26th from web
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Remiel
I don't care what they say. If the delivery guy ever brought me Digiorno, I'd be fucking pissed.
7:24 PM Jan 31st from web
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micah
Does anyone know of a script that I can run which will cause a huge cosmic ray gun to blow up the fucking idiot driver in front of me?
3:59 PM Jan 10th from TinyTwitter
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