catbird
During my hour-long appreciative stare into this mirror this morning, I decided: no more magazine spreads 'til those photogs learn my angles
| On my way to Betsey Johnson's 30th anniversary party! Dressed like Strawberry Shortcake! And (sigh). My life is empty; my soul a black void |
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| I'm not joking: I'm staring at my Gmail Notifier right this second, just waiting for it to roll over into quadruple digits. |
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| In the "Get Back To Our Roots" coming future, we'll all just abandon Twitter & go back to stomping around the town square with a megaphone. |
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| A special message for everyone: http://tinyurl.com/6oj56e |
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| People keep asking me, "How can I make it as a fresh young entrepreneur?" And I keep telling them, "Have rich parents." |
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| What, your office doesn't offer "bottle service?" Sorry, then I can't meet with you. |
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| In a top-secret meeting with top-secret people to talk about something top-secret (ok, it's a Facebook widget or a viral marketing campaign) |
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| Just doing my usual last night (out drinking with NY media titans & A-List bloggers) when Paris H comes up & starts bugging me for Provigil |
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| The new maid unplugged my Macbook (hello I was charging!) & she doesn't put enough champagne in my bellinis. Good help is so hard to find! |
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| GOD, so-called "luxury" helicopter they gave me is anything but. NO caviar, NO Cristal. I'm just going back to taking limos to the airport |
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| WTF?!? This Birkin bag won't even hold my *small* MacBook Pro! Well that was a waste. Hello, garbage bin! |
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| Ran out of Almas caviar *AND* the lid on the humidor is creaking AGAIN! Life can be SO HARD! -Sent from my prerelease 3G iPhone |
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| Sigh. Was only able to raise $6.4 million in venture cap funding :-( |
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| 300,000 ft. up on a private flight to Vegas with all of NYC's hottest blogosphere superstars. I think I'll bust open the hatch and jump. |
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| Lecturing someone about some kind of technological thing because whereas I'm an earth-changing genius, everyone else is an idiot moron |
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| In the Park at a ceremony dedicating a marble statue of me, for my work bettering our world via viral videos, widgets, Tweets, and Diggs. |
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| Be sure and make some reference about the Google favicon being changed before you miss your chance. |
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| Suspect that someone is a douchebag, but not sure? Just follow their Twitter feed for a bit. Twitter will tell you all you need to know. |
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| Explaining to the President of Burundi how he can improve his country by getting Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter accounts for his office. Duh. |
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