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Welcome to Twitter, @thegax - proving that the tubes always have room for 140 characters of pointless banter.
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@sarahintampa um, it is called webdiet. I would assume weight management is one of its goals. Unless that was sarcasm. If so, well played.
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Dolomite is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
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Example, @tommyduncn the singer
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I have Joe the Plumber fever. As a result, everyone will be referred to today as <person> the <job title>.
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Realization you are desperate for money: Finding yourself in a trailer park at 4PM waiting for a stranger to come home so you can work.
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Must. Join. Twitter. Bandwagon. I am #suspending my mortgage payment until I receive a bailout. What do you mean, that's not funny?
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I wonder, if I went to the corner and held up a sign that read "Will Tweak websites for Rock Band 2", would that work?
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Corporate network: borked. Printers: fooked. Several desktop PCs: smouldering ruins. Overall, a good morning. Or not.
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Roses are red / violets are blue / let me work in peace / goddamn internet
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@davedorm Are you tweetin' at me? 'Cause I don't see anyone else here. You must be tweetin' at me. Are you tweetin' at ME?
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Dethklok should be responsible for naming all hurricanes from now on.( http://snurl.com/3i1cd )
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One day, man will find a planet made of bacon. It will be colonized by baconauts, and the society will never be kosher.
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Someone save me from Kingdom of Loathing. It's like a cancer, only with more puns.
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Reason to be happy I'm married # 15738: My wife's italian chicken soup. Even better the next day.
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I would happily give someone entirely too much money if they could implant a single-cup coffee implant directly into my brain.
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@warrenellis I categorically reject your "Brain Custard Zombies" epithet. I prefer "Thought Detrius Ingester". Also, you amuse me.
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We're having a boy! Maxwell Damon is on the way!
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Holy crap, I might actually live to visit space. Richard Branson is an insane genius.http://is.gd/16lt
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Slow drizzles are for making emulsions - they make for wretched weather, however. Guess what's going on outside?
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