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@nick Re: Betty Draper/John McCain. I tried to hint at it here: http://twitter.com/tj/statu...
There are 2 kinds of people in the world: those who realize that this is the funniest thing said all day: http://tr.im/cpj …and terrorists. ...
The fatal flaw is that Dr. Sam Beckett was *always* sent to put *right* what once went *wrong*: http://xrl.us/QuantumMcCain (via @phillh)
Calling it now: Rays in 5. #redsox
I don't know what the fuck this POS song is, but it makes Marilyn Manson sound like a lullabye. I may shove a knife in my ear. Or both.
You know that "Work" dropdown in my Amazon 1-click settings? Yeah, funny thing, turns out that it was set to use my personal credit card :-/
@matthewbaldwin That reminds me of the first word I ever remember coining, namely: "Krulled" http://xrl.us/krulled
@fireland oh that is Pure Unmitigated Evil Genius. I mean, unless they're *trying* to get pregnant, in which case change Genius to Bastard.
$3mil for an overhead projector? John McCain: Liar or Dumbass? You be the judge (http://bit.ly/overmccainshead [Note: PDF] via @nevenmrgan)
Apparently @nostrich beat both @ttseco and me to it: http://tinyurl.com/44tfxh. An "odometer" still measures distance to old people, right?
@bethshanna Brady was hurt for the Super Bowl & they lost to the Giants, and now out for the season. So clearly God hates the Patriots more.
@gretchasketch duh! Everyone knows that Columbus' ships were the Niña, the Pinta, and the Straight Talk Express!
The bad news is that @ttseco beat me to the pedophile/pedometer joke: http://is.gd/3Z16 The good news: his was funnier than mine.
In fourteen hundred ninety two Columbus sailed the ocean blue. In fourteen hundred ninety five Did his luggage finally arrive.
Here is the one and only Columbus Day joke that exists. It's not mine, but I don't remember where I heard it. Spoiler Alert! It's not funny:
9:10am: the week's 1st case of overwrought drama has occurred. Do they give a "mountain out of a molehill" award? Because we ought to apply.
Have I mentioned that schools in Ohio aren't closed today? Did I mention that the capital of Ohio is *Columbus* FFS? UM, HELLO? ANYONE?!
Dear Doofus: he didn't hear it was impossible to kiss your elbow the other day; he heard THE OTHER DAY that it was impossible…oh forget it. ...
@heidihoover My wife's response was something like "If it makes me feel better, do I really care why or how?" Hard to argue with that logic.
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