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@nick Re: Betty Draper/John McCain. I tried to hint at it here: http://twitter.com/tj/statu...
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There are 2 kinds of people in the world: those who realize that this is the funniest thing said all day: http://tr.im/cpj …and terrorists.
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The fatal flaw is that Dr. Sam Beckett was *always* sent to put *right* what once went *wrong*:
http://xrl.us/QuantumMcCain (via @phillh)
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Calling it now: Rays in 5. #redsox
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I don't know what the fuck this POS song is, but it makes Marilyn Manson sound like a lullabye. I may shove a knife in my ear. Or both.
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You know that "Work" dropdown in my Amazon 1-click settings? Yeah, funny thing, turns out that it was set to use my personal credit card :-/
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@matthewbaldwin That reminds me of the first word I ever remember coining, namely: "Krulled" http://xrl.us/krulled
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@fireland oh that is Pure Unmitigated Evil Genius. I mean, unless they're *trying* to get pregnant, in which case change Genius to Bastard.
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$3mil for an overhead projector?
John McCain: Liar or Dumbass?
You be the judge
(http://bit.ly/overmccainshead [Note: PDF] via @nevenmrgan)
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Apparently @nostrich beat both @ttseco and me to it: http://tinyurl.com/44tfxh.
An "odometer" still measures distance to old people, right?
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@bethshanna Brady was hurt for the Super Bowl & they lost to the Giants, and now out for the season. So clearly God hates the Patriots more.
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@gretchasketch duh! Everyone knows that Columbus' ships were the Niña, the Pinta, and the Straight Talk Express!
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@Tony_D yes
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The bad news is that @ttseco beat me to the pedophile/pedometer joke: http://is.gd/3Z16
The good news: his was funnier than mine.
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In fourteen hundred ninety two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In fourteen hundred ninety five
Did his luggage finally arrive.
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Here is the one and only Columbus Day joke that exists. It's not mine, but I don't remember where I heard it. Spoiler Alert! It's not funny:
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9:10am: the week's 1st case of overwrought drama has occurred. Do they give a "mountain out of a molehill" award? Because we ought to apply.
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Have I mentioned that schools in Ohio aren't closed today?
Did I mention that the capital of Ohio is *Columbus* FFS?
UM, HELLO? ANYONE?!
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Dear Doofus: he didn't hear it was impossible to kiss your elbow the other day; he heard THE OTHER DAY that it was impossible…oh forget it.
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@heidihoover My wife's response was something like "If it makes me feel better, do I really care why or how?" Hard to argue with that logic.
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