Moltz
Today we celebrate the birth of a nation, nine months after George Washington nailed Betsy Ross.
| Moltz Bozo and Jesse Helms in suicide pact. Is that anything? |
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| Moltz Supposed to go over to the neighbors' later but there's a kid with a fanny pack on over there and I don't want Hank having bad influences. |
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| Moltz "First". Oh, iPhone! You are incorrigible! |
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| Moltz Whoops, didn't think my fist labia joke posted. It's all good, as long as you get your lady parts jokes. |
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| Moltz Today, we celebrate the birth of a nation, through what must have been absolutely enormous labia. |
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| Moltz Today we in the U.S. Celebrate the birth of our nation from the uterus of freedom which was inseminated with the jizz of liberty. And labia. |
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| Moltz Declaring my independence from the tyrrany of high furniture prices at Discount Sam's Furniture Emporium off I-5 in Kent, open 10am to 6pm. |
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| Moltz You can now have Bozo's gun. |
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| Moltz "Never get into a pun battle with @chrisohio." - Lao Tzu |
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| Moltz The dock down there is literally covered in crusty old seamen. |
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| Moltz @laughingsquid The Daytona 500. Which, I know, is wrong. |
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| Moltz "Dear Mrs. Ozzel, I regret to inform you that your husband was AN INCOMPETENT, WORTHLESS PIECE OF BANTHA SH-..." Sigh. "Dear Mrs. Ozzel..." |
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| Moltz OK, I know there are period ships sailing into the harbor, but the first person who talks like a pirate gets a knee to the mizzenmast. |
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| Moltz You want to talk about awkward, Vader had to write the letters home to the families of all those Imperial officers he strangled. Awk-ward. |
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| Moltz @chrisohio Indeed. This holiday, let's put America back on the right track by declaring zero tolerance for Lee Greenwood. |
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| Moltz @potjie @SeoulBrother You're both wrong. That's the peppermint schnapps for the ladies from Sister Mary's. |
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| Moltz Tall Ships are coming in today and will be parked (moored, jalliwagged, whatevah) right outside my office window. Wish I had some beer. |
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| Moltz Saw this on my walk this morning: http://snurl.com/2tck8 Safety first, kids! |
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| Moltz Going for a walk while it's thundering out. If I don't make it back my estate goes to Sister Mary's Home For Wayward Bisexual Nymphomaniacs. |
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