memo to Albertson's: you'd sell a hell of a lot more ice cream if you didn't stock it directly across from the fitness mags. You're welcome.
about 1 hour ago
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Whoever the person was at Lay's who thought up sour cream & onion potato chips, I hope they got many lays out of it.
about 16 hours ago
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If your last name were Imitateslife, it'd be fun to name your kid Arthur. Arthur, but not Art, that would be stupid. Unrelated: I'm drunk.
01:01 AM October 10, 2008
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@sluggirl1, he'd have a bigger lead now if he went full Sam Jackson and got medieval on McCain's ass. It'd be some fucked-up repugnant shit.
02:52 PM October 09, 2008
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in reply to sluggirl1
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Is it too much to hope for that when he takes the oath of office he says "I, Barack MOTHERFUCKING HUSSEIN Obama"...
02:16 PM October 09, 2008
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I'm way too classy to play Celebrity Death Pool but I did just put money on Paul Newman winning "most applause during the Oscar obit reel".
01:06 PM October 09, 2008
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"coloncancer is now following your updates on Twitter". Not anymore. (sent from my ChemoTwit app)
11:42 AM October 08, 2008
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The Fortune 500 should be an actual auto race like the Indy or Daytona 500, but with top CEOs as drivers. Also, much crashing, fiery death.
09:43 AM October 08, 2008
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Candidates: if you try to connect with me tonight by referencing Joe Sixpack, you won't. Reference Joe Middlefinger, you have my attention.
02:53 PM October 07, 2008
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Peacescience: there is no day that cannot be decidedly improved by the introduction of ice cream, notably a kick-it-hard-in-the-nads Monday.
05:11 PM October 06, 2008
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Ohhhhhhhh, baby. Somebody make sure Baby Steinbrenner has the address for Dodger Stadium so he can send Joe Torre a congratulatory telegram.
10:29 PM October 04, 2008
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Gotta feel for the OJ jury, they didn't realize they were deliberating at 10pm since there aren't any clocks in Vegas. Free drinks, though.
11:13 PM October 03, 2008
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Sometimes GoogleAds remind us how interesting email conversations can be. http://totalyellow.com/Tw/G.... #2 and #5 may be related.
08:11 PM October 03, 2008
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I was training for the Olympics by hocking loogies, then was told that's not how you pronounce luge. What do I do now, with all this talent?
11:42 AM October 03, 2008
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My sperm bank told me the gov't no longer insures my deposits, but I heard Nancy Pelosi is giving my sperm lip service on the House floor.
12:47 PM October 02, 2008
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McCain is reminding everyone the Cubs/Dodgers playoff game is on TV tomorrow night and to put country first by watching our national pastime
01:19 PM October 01, 2008
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I give McCain credit, he's made it through without a sudden outburst of face cancer. But the real winner tonight? The bracelet industry.
07:31 PM September 26, 2008
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"This orgy of spending"... Barack just won the perv vote. He had us at "orgy".
06:38 PM September 26, 2008
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Hmm. Seems A/C can serve as an office fart neutralizer, I never learned that in science class. Unrelated: it's 48 degrees in here.
02:42 PM September 26, 2008
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